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I go north

Wakes up.

"EERRRGGHHHH… Where am I?"

Pulls out a bag and begins rummaging through it.

Pulls out a small UAV and launches it into the air.

"Begin cartographic reconnaissance!"

Shifts around so that I'm sitting upright on my CIA waifu's shoulders, pulls out a pair of binoculars and begins scanning the horizon.

• Pssst! Did that save menu bit fix my leg or no?

yes it did

Finishes surveying surrounding and hops down onto the ground.

"Wait, wasn't my leg broken?"

Stomps foot on the ground a couple times.

"Huh, guess not."

Pulls out drawing tablet again and summons 3 armed and uniformed girls, a blonde with twintails, a pink-haired metalhead and a short, stout one whose hair was just in between brown and ginger to the point you couldn't quite tell.

"Investigate the room to the North, we'll continue Southward."

The 3 girls then marched to the room to the North while Kommando and his CIA waifu, J, began moving South.

Oh hi! So… I found candy in this room, do any of you want it?

• You consult your pseudorandom number generator to determine which direction to proceed in, and go south.

How much did you take?

I only took one, saving the rest for the others

• Systems Rebooting

• Auspexes Online

"Oh my, I must have been out for some time."

• Scanning for Hostiles

• None Detected

• Scanning Local Entities

• No ID Found

"Hmm, how peculiar. Oh well, I must have got blasted into a friendly civilian area. I do not think they would have repaired me otherwise."

I watch with interest as the party splits up and, being a Killbot of Peace, I decide to follow my fellow robot, Talkie Toaster south and stay away from the pysker who vaporised a hapless amphibian with a goddam stick.

(To Talkie Toaster)

"I say good fellow, I don't suppose you could spare some toast could you? I feel my fuel supply is starting to get a little low."

"That is my raison d'être, my good man! One slice of toast, coming right up!

• You proceed to heat a piece of bread that manifests within your bread slot due to some comically-prolonged technobabble that ultimately boils down to "it's like magic", and serve one of your comrades a reasonably-heated piece of toast.

• Following that, you analyze your current location for other entities or useful tools.

To the south, the room turns to your left (it's shaped like an L).
Room map: (Key: X=you, Y=Froggit Z=Spider web W=Sign)
_________________________________
‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎Y ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎Y ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎Y ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎| ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎_________
X ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎| ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎| ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎Z ‎ ‎ ‎Z ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎|
‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎|-------| ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎|
______________________________________ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎W‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎|
‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎|____ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎__|
‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎↑
‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎Exit

Notes: If you die, then you can't interact with anything until Kaijin either SAVEs or dies. Unless you're Kaijin, in which case everybody returns to the state the were in when you last SAVEd.

So…what you're saying is that Kaijin is now a time machine.

Very interesting.

I examine the room. If there are no other paths here, I say:
Huh, guess this room is a dead end. If you three are ready to catch up with the others, tell me, I’ll follow.

Kommando sights the Froggit and pulls out a radio.

"Hostile sighted, destroy!"

The three uniformed girls return and open fire on the Froggit with their carbines except for the stout one, who kept watch with her belt-fed rotary gun squad automatic weapon.

Kommando pulled out the radio again.

"Report status!"

• Achtung! Feuerschüsse

I turn my head in the direction of the gunfire, halfway through processing the delicious toast lovingly created for me by Kamerád Toaster, to see the automatons of Magos Kaijin unleashing a hail of small calibre and anti-material small arms fire against a small, unassuming amphibian.

"Good Heavens! That seems a bit unnecessary. "

• Veterinary Protocols On Standby

• Estimated Chance of Success: 3%

• While all this is going on, you move to the sign to investigate it, but stay on alert.

Meanwhile, Mago had been wasting time looking for a snack to eat.

Walking up to Toriel, Kaijin, Kaijin's bodyguard, Olors, Toaster, and Soup King, he very loudly asked

"Know where I can find something to eat? Magicians need food too, y'know."

The northern room has candy. Toaster can also toast toast for you.

Whilst the organics are carrying out an assumingly state-sanctioned purge of the local population, I wander over and inspect the sign at the other end of the room, hoping that the Froggits won't find me guilty by association for the actions of my kameraden.

The Froggit ignores your gunfire. It is unharmed.

The 3 uniformed girls form a perimeter around Kommando and J and begin to march South and then East, towards the sign. Kommando notices the metal panels on the floor ahead and pulls begins scribbling something on his drawing tablet again.

"So, any idea where this Goat-thing is taking us? And can we trust it?"

I examine the spider webs

• Reviewing Recent Records

• Compiling Answer

"Considering the only hostile entities we have encountered so far have been. Flower (1), Pysker (Tim), Magos (You). I think it is a sensible idea to trust her until proven otherwise."

Continues on his merry way down the corridor to examine the sign.

There are a number of spiders in them.

The sign says the following:

SPIDER BAKE SALE
Come eat food made for spiders, by spiders, of spiders!

I’d like a spider cider and spider donut, but I don’t have the money for them.

Mago, do you have enough gold for the cider and donut? If so, can I buy them?

• Processing

Takes cloth out of bag and rubs auspexes.

• Processing

Rubs cloth gently across the sign to clean off the dust.

• Processing

• Reviewing Information In All Known Languages

I place my hand on Olors shoulders and guide him gently a few steps away from the spider webs.

"I do not know about you, but I am a bit anxious about dealing with people who are proud and open cannibals."

Kommando looked towards the spider webs.

"Spiders?"

Kommando then pulled out a Milkor M32A1 Multi-shot Grenade Launcher and fired a three-round burst of XM1060 Thermobaric 40mm grenades into the webs. He then followed up by further incinerating the webs and anything around them with a M9A1-7 Flamethrower and then emptied a M202 FLASH Incendiary Rocket Launcher into what remained of the webs and their inhabitants.

"Ain't no Goddamn spiders on my watch!"

Kommando then looks towards Soup King.

"Didn't you just say something about cannibals? I think I can help with that."

Kommando then rallied the uniformed trio and J, the CIA waifu, around himself eagerly waiting for Soup King to indentify the cannibals for them.

Mago: "Cannibals?? And S-Sp-Sp-SPIDERS?!?"

Mago quickly formed a large glowing shield of magic around himself before running off into the darkness.

I take it as a no and go to the exit

I stare into the blazing inferno that has erupted a few feet away from my face, grateful for my makers creating me out of a high-quality titanium alloy.

• Warning: Temperatures Exceeding Safe Levels For Organics.

• Temperatures Too High. Thermal And Infra-Red Sensors Ineffective

I turn my gaze back towards the amphibians that had been fired upon just now.

• Scans Indicate No Physical Or Mental Damage

• Processing

I take two large strides away from the Magos and his Automata, striking a neutral pose in the corner.

"I believe the location of the suspected cannibals will soon be self-evident."

"eh, well then… guess we need to keep moving…"

Kommando and his summoned OCs then walk East then North into the next room.

Geography of the next room: (X=you, Y=ghost, Z=exit)
| ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎X ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎|_____
| ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎|___|‾‾‾‎‎ ‎‎ ‎Z ‎ ‎‾‾|
| ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎Y‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎Z
|_____________|‾‾‾‾‾|______|
A ghost is lying on a pile of leaves in the middle of the room. When you try to move through the passage, it seems an invisible wall is blocking you. The ghost is pretending to be asleep.
Move the ghost with force?

yes

ACT: cheer

Napstablook: *heh…
The outline of a box appears in front of Napstablook. Your SOUL appears in it. Napstablook flies to the top and cries wiggly tears. They crawl on the edges of the box before falling from the top. Everybody, choose a number between 1 and 20, I will determine how much damage you took based on that number.

ACT options:
Check
Threaten
Flirt
Cheer

10
I cheer next turn

You take 12 damage. You are at 8/20 HP. You can take your next turn once somebody else takes their turn.

For anybody who's curious, we are currently on turn 2 of Napstablook's miniboss fight. Anybody besides Olors can take turn 2.

Are we allowed to come up with our own methods of fighting or are we limited to imitating Frisk?

Sure, go ahead.

• Scanning

• Supernatural Entity Detected

• Whiny Bitch Class Ascertained

• Weakness: Good Vibes

• Engaging Positivity Protocols

I move towards the spectre and attempt to "CHEER" them up by doing the traditional Robot Dance of Happiness.

(I rolled a 19 by the way. No Instagibs pls.)

Soup King, you take 6 damage from Napstablook's tears.
Napstablook: *heh…heh…
The box appears again. Grey text appears in it. It says "Really not feeling up to it right now. Sorry." Nobody takes any damage.
Turn 3 has begun! Olors, you can take this turn.

6
I cheer again

The Bullet Board rematerializes.
Napstablook's tears fall upward, creating a top hat.
Napstablook: *let me try…I call it "dapper blook"…do you like it…
Turn 4 has begun!

• You engage your cheering ability and fire confetti from your bread slot.

Napstablook: *oh gee…
Your SOULs return to your body. The buttons disappear.
Napstablook: *I usually come to the ruins because there's nobody around…but today I met some nice people…oh, I'm rambling again. I'll get out of your way.
Napstablook fades away.
Music:

"Wait no! I didn't get to attack!"

Kommando pulls out his drawing tablet again and summons a tall woman in an elegant and intricately patterned hooded robe colored like Onyx and Jade, the woman pulled down her hood to reveal an impossibly immaculately beautiful face with porcelain white skin that shined like the full Moon, eyes like sparkling Emeralds and fiery, almost glowing ginger-red hair.

"Bring back that ghost!" Kommando said to the woman.

The woman glanced to her right and there stood the specter that had only moments ago vanished.

"Obliterate it!" Kommando ordered.

The woman squinted in a subtly displeased manner at Kommando and as soon as Napstablook had reappeared, he had burst into a bright flash and all that remained of him were the echoes of shrieks of agony ringing through the air, cut off by sudden total annihilation.

"Not even death shall spare the enemy!" Kommando announced.

The woman without as much as blinking glided through a grand and ornate door in the wall that vanished as soon as she passed through it. Kommando merely advanced further through the ruins with his detail patrolling around him.

As they walked into the next room, wondering why Mago hadn't shown up to fight, they saw him practicing magic attacks a few feet away from the entrance they had gone through. Mago immediately knew what question they were forming in their minds.

Mago: "What? All I did was use my magic to go through a few walls. And hey! No cannibals or spiders in this room! And now that you're here, it's a win-win!"

For some reason, the group didn't seem amused.