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How about this?
"His special folder has art that would make John Carpenter jizz his pants"

(In all honesty, probably not. I mean John Carpenter thought that stuff was awful, so he made a film about how awful it is. I, on the other hand thought "yeah, sure, that'd be pretty bad, but it would be kinda hot, though" and then proceed to make art about how hot it is.)

(I also realized that he also made Halloween, a movie about how awful it would be if a murderous psychopath that's an unstoppable killing machine got loose. Jenna MacMadeth is irrefutable evidence that I also looked at that and once again said "yeah, sure, that'd be pretty bad, but it would be kinda hot, though.")

(Yeah, now that I think about it, you could substitute the main protagonists of Escape From New York, Big Trouble in Little China and They Live with Bex and her crew, the Albino dictators from Universe 01 that Amelie and Azraella are a part of bear a few superficial similarities to the children from The Village of the Damned, and my secondary end goal with my R34 art is to drive Quiet_boi insane from looking at it in a manner akin to In The Mouth of Madness.)

(Dark Star kinda sounds like something Soup King would do, though, considering that the plot of the film is that the spaceship is held together by chewed gum and duct tape, runs on Windows 98 complete with frequent BSoDs and the crew has to convince a sentient AI-controlled nuke to not detonate while still aboard the ship.)

(though, I can assure that I can't think of anything for the rest of his films.)

(In light of concerns about the Upcoming Fire Emblem game, I've come up with an idea:)

(An edit of this)

(Also, here's the full quality version of the edited MGRR cover art.)

As an avid Fire Emblem fan, I'll need you to pour your guts on this thread abbout it when you're done.
That is your homework now.

>I also looked at that and once again said "yeah, sure, that'd be pretty bad, but it would be kinda hot, though."

(I am adding Love Machine to the list of Kaijin's many qualities, as there is space in his heart for everyone.)

(I agree with the Dark Star analogy for the sort of ship I'd ride, but I also like to think that I can do worse and create something like the Occurrence Border where it is both functional, but also a death-trap for anyone within visual range of it.)

(Can I upload your game cover edit to the main site as well? Because you've done an amazing job on this one.)

(Main site? Do you mean KYM or some other site? Either way I don't think it's very relevant outside of this thread or that people would get it outside of the absolute zingers "Pee-Ass 3," "Pisstation NeTwerp" and the timeless classic "Kum," but go ahead if you want to.)

(By main site, I meant the Video Game Cover Parody entry we have, because it's honestly the best one I've seen in years and I think it deserves to outlive the thread it was born in.)

(Not sure how well you Fire Emblem image would do, as I know nothing of the series so I don't know how humorous actual friend would find it.)

(It'd kind of be like if I made a meme about beating a monkey to death in a space station with house bricks. The people who would get that it was Timesplitters joke would be so minimal that it just wouldn't make sense to really anyone else here.)

(Also, it serves as free advertising for your main Newgrounds profile for those who like the style and want to see more.)

(Anyway, I'm off to use your hard work to acquire more meaningless internet points.)

(Mwhahahahahaha!)

CoC saint reveal:

Various rectangular cultists had gathered, and formed a new organization: The Union of Directed Upright Angulars (UDAO). They believed in the fusion of the mathematical with a strong sense of moral uprightness. They assessed the current situation, saw various cults that followed shapes that had at least one right angle, and successfully won them over. The UDAOists employed many of the same tactics that the CoC used to draw in and assimilate its members.

And then, they decided to chip away at the CoC congregation. Most CoC members remained loyal, but some of the apostasies cut deeper and deeper into the higher-ranked members. They were on pace to win over members of the inner circle!

The UDAOists then developed a tetratheistic doctrine, which gave them the “fourfold division” strategy: they would create a division among CoC members by fermenting a major dispute, but while they are focused on that, they would introduce another problem. This, UDAO hoped, would break the CoC at its most fundamental levels. They sought to destroy the very center of the CoC.

(Weird thought: Is the average Undefinable OP against a conventional military?)

(I mean, it's a 7-12 ft tall sorta-kinda-infantry that has similar armor to a tank, is agile enough to just dodge the usual man-portable anti-armor solutions, carries enough weapons with enough variety to practically fulfill the role of an entire platoon, has enough electronic warfare capabilities to make certain types of missiles and other electronic equipment essentially useless, they tend to act in groups, and all that along with the fact that there's a non-zero chance that it will just sprout wings and start flying.)

(How is a conventional military supposed to score a non-Pyrrhic victory against something that's too fast for AFV's to deal with, too armored for infantry to damage, is an extremely potent anti-air solution and can also pull the plug on all the electronic devices in the local area whenever it feels like it?)

(Hey Guys, I was going to do some KYM stuff and things for this thread, but that plan fell through because I got a new job and there was some new and exciting issue with the pre-employment paperwork every other day, so I'll be more active once everything stops breaking down every five minutes.)

(I have also been playing the new Dead Space and have spent many a hour bravely bitch-slapping cosmic horrors into oblivion and not certainly because I'm a paranoid sissy who can't aim properly when he's spooked.)

How's the aiming with a controller?
Cuz' I played the original on both mouse+keyboard and on controller and I wanna know if it sticks to the og.

(The aiming and the movement in this game feel very fluid on a controller. It feels a lot more like playing DS2 than the original DS where everything was a bit more stiff and rigid.)

"…and that is why the circle is the best, and therefore, most holy shape."

Soup King Prime beamed at the assembled crowd of UDAO clergy members who had gathered to try and dissuade him from following the path of the righteous and the just.

"But all you've done is put these squares in a circle."

"Yes, all these squares make a circle, for the circle is at the heart of everything."

One of the UDAO members squinted at the diagram on the ground and then looked up at Soup King Prime with a sly smile on her face.

"That doesn't look like a circle to me. In fact, it looks rather angul-"

The clergywoman fell silent as Soup King Prime gave her a scholarly slap across the face.

"There is no need for pedantics in a friendly, civilised discussion, my dear" said he whilst the clergywoman cradled her dislocated jaw in her hands "but if we must, this diagram should better illustrate my point."

"As you can see, there is a circle in the heart of a square. The same applies for any shape you can think of. Triangle, Pentagon, Parallelogram. Even the Dodecahedron, as vile and as corrupted as it may be, has a circle within it."

The UDAOists stared at the machine and realised, to their growing terror, that logic, let alone sanity, could not help them against the iron-hard belief of the Shitbots in the Undeserving Circle.

Something the machine easily picked up on.

"You wonder, don't you, why we worship a circle, of all things?"

"It…er…it has certainly crossed our minds, yes."

"Because we can."

"What?"

"Well, why not? If we were already living by its creed already, why not worship it?"

"But do you care nothing about the Universal Truth, of the Glory of Order, of the Righteousness of Rigidity!?"

"The truth, my friends, is that the suns shines, the grass grows and by the end of tomorrow evening at the latest, the lovable oblong-worshipping rascal next door will send his pet homophobic lesbian to devour you all because it's Sunday and he's bored out of his mind."

"How can you say such a thing!?"

"Are you not a worshiper of the truth?"

"Are you not a Man of the Cloth!?"

"What is a man? A miserable little pile of secrets. But enough talk… have at you!"

Whilst whirling his folding chair with grace and dignity, Soup King Prime calmly and respectfully ushered the UDAOists out of the Church of CoC.

May I become a priest?
laudat לֹא רָאוּי دائرة

Of course you can, the more the merrier!

You can either join the Cult of the Circle (CoC) whose tenets are suspiciously close to moderate Christianity and must objectively be the best since it has all but one of the active participants in this thread on its side. Being the leader of said cult, you can be entirely sure that I have absolutely no bias in regards to this position.

You can start your own religion if you want to and interact with us within the convoluted mess we call a narrative as an independent.

Or you can join with Kaijin's Church of Shirley (CoS). I'm not entirely sure what the basis of his religion is apart from continually falling for my clever ruses so that whilst he's busy burning down my Church I'm eating all of the food in his fridge and replacing all the Sweet Tea in his cupboards with Sour Tea. But I'm sure he'll be more than happy to give you a run down himself.

There's a couple narrative things we've developed to help make it clear which comments are narrative based and which ones are just general chatting ones.

If you want to describe the surroundings, setting or a character's actions, write them in bold, so like:

Soup King poured Kaijin's sweet tea down the sink, it's sickly sweet aroma wafting from the drain and it's sugary droplets splattering off his quickly corroding face plate.

In case you don't know how to do it, you can make your text bold by using the Greater Than and Less Than signs (Those crocodile-jawed triangle symbols above the comma and full stop on your keyboard) as brackets and having a lowercase b at the start of the sentence and then the same except that it's /b at the end of the sentence.

Sorry if that sounds confusing, but due to how the coding works, I don't think you'd be able to see the symbols by themselves.

If anyone in the story is talking , just write it normally but with quotations, so like:

"Gah, this is the worse tea ever made by a mortal hand" said Soup King as he emptied the jug down the sink.

And if you want to add anything out of character, just put the text in brackets, so like:

(Kaijin actually makes really good tea and pouring it down the sink like this is a crime against humanity.)

Don't worry if anything you read or see here doesn't make any sense. We don't know what we're doing either and it kind of just flows with a rhyme and a reason all of its own.

Thank God you're not Chouseng who has agreed to take a look at this and try and present it to everyone else on the site in a way that makes logical sense.

(So I've figured out what to call the 40-foot-tall Shitbot mechs: Stalwarts. Let me know if you can think of something better, I'm going for something that gives off the vibes of big, strong and powerful, but not threatening or aggressive.)

(I've also came up with the idea of a 15-foot-tall Shitbot Mike Wazowski that dual-wields folding chairs with chainsaw blades, ERA bricks and rocket engines built into them and are comically uncouth, yelling British slurs and insults at everyone in whichever British accent it is where "Fuck" is pronounced "Fack" and those will be called "Liberators" because they're obsessed with "liberating" everything… by smashing it with their giant rocket-powered chainsaw folding chairs.)

(I just wanted to see a giant robot call Blütgrindor stuff like "Minger" "Trollop" and "Slag" and I also want to have Amelie show up at one point, encounter a Shitbot Liberator and her mere presence cause it to go into a very, very loaded tirade against the French.)

But before Soup King could get all of the UDAOists out of the Church of CoC, a barrage of artillery plummeted through the roof and obliterated the crowd. Two Undefinables walked in through the smoke and ash: One tall and massive, covered in a variety of cannons and guns, the other smaller, very skeletal and covered in various blades and saws and with a head resembling multiple concentric bear traps.

"That's it!" Soup King said as he somehow whistled.

Suddenly, two massive behemoths of armor and weaponry shot up from behind the Church of CoC and smashed through what remained of the roof, landing in between Soup King and the two Undefinables.

The chaos quickly ensued as The two Undefinables leapt into action. The larger opened fire on one of the Shitbot Stalwarts which had the standard gunpod mounted on it's left arm. A swarm of large metallic needles embedded themselves in it's side and disabled one of it's many dual 20mm turrets. The Stalwart responded by firing it's cutting laser at the large Undefinable.

The other Stalwart was equipped with an extra drone launcher and scrambled a small group of reconnaissance drones equipped with small rocket tubes as it moved to stomp the smaller Undefinable with it's massive foot. The smaller Undefinable suddenly rolled to the side, avoid the stomp and launched itself upward, but had to dodge a volley of rockets from the Recon Drones last second.

Becoming infuriated by the Recon Drones, the smaller Undefinable began changing shape, it's body contorting and rearranging into the shape of a hideous gaunt mechanical beast covered in teeth, blades and claws. It then lunged onto one of the Recon Drones and latched onto it with it's teeth. The Recon Drone began flying erratically until the other Recon Drones began firing upon it and the smaller Undefinable ejected itself from the small UAV and onto another.

The larger Undefinable dodged the beam and fired an larger warhead into the large, spherical cutting laser module, causing it to combust spectacularly. The Stalwart stumbled back and then retaliated by leaning onto one of it's legs as it stretched to other out to the side and then initiated the large turbofans on the outstretched leg's hip in order to repeatedly kick the larger Undefinable with great force while launching a barrage of anti-tank missiles at it, but the larger Undefinable avoided the strikes before flopping onto it's back and countering with a single kick of it's own with a long, slender spike extending from it's soles as it stomped both feet into the Stalwart's shin, at first the two coming to a grinding halt as the Stalwart's turbofans struggled to push back against the larger Undefinable until it was fruitless and the Stalwart was launched back, nearly falling over as it stumbled.

The other Stalwart had taken to charging directly into the smaller Undefinable guns blazing while it was preoccupied with the Recon Drones. Right as it was about to collide with the swarm, the smaller Undefinable leapt from the UAV and directly into one of the pairs of turbofans on the Stalwart's hips, the large jet engines instantly exploding into tiny shreds of metal and the force from the remaining two spinning the Stalwart as it toppled over and crashed, crushing the Recon Drones it had launched. The smaller Undefinable landed on the ground unharmed, coming to a squealing stop as it's claws scraped along the ground, with it finally stopping once it flipped into the air and returned to it's Undefinable form.

The first Stalwart then tried to destroy the larger Undefinable with it's main weapon: It's massive Superheavy Plasma Burst Thrower. Pointing the barrel at the Undefinable and charging it up, the larger Undefinable replied by deploying a large beam weapon of it's own mounted on it's head and as they both fired, the beams collided and both stood there trying to overpower the other's beam. The Stalwart focused more power into the Plasma Thrower only for it to overheat and shut off. The larger Undefinable's beam went straight through the Plasma Thrower, causing it to explode and destroy the Stalwart's right arm.

The second Stalwart stood up, but it's radome was caught on a surviving section of the Church's walls and was torn off, impairing it's ability to guide it's missiles. The Stalwart stretched it's leg out to kick the smaller Undefinable while it tried to melt it with it's cutting laser, but the smaller Undefinable dodged and landed on the Stalwart's hip and then proceeded to climb up it's body, strike it's cutting laser module with such force that it spun uncontrollably in it's socket, cutting off the Stalwart's 120mm cannon and the barrel of it's Plasma Thrower, before finally tearing the cutting laser module itself off of the Stalwart.

The larger Undefinable quickly avoided a volley of fire from the Stalwart's gunpod before retaliating with a rocket into the Stalwart's knee, causing it to buckle enough for the Undefinable to climb onto the Stalwart's gunpod and begin hacking at it's armor with a pair of chainsaws that extended from it's arms. The Stalwart quickly regained it's balance and proceeded to thrash around violently until the Undefinable was flung off. Now with a gash in it's gunpod's armor, the larger Undefinable simply fired a salvo of anti-tank rockets into it, causing the gunpod to explode violently.

Now missing most of it's weapons, the second Stalwart launched every Recon Drone it had into the air and began to run away while firing an endless stream of anti-tank missiles at the smaller Undefinable, somewhat innaccurately due to the loss of it's radome. Springing into action, the smaller Undefinable shifts itself into a wheeled form and proceeds to chase after the now-flaming behemoth while dodging every projectile launched at it. Catching up, it leaps onto it's back and sprints up to where the radome used to sit, the Recon UAVs being unable to get close due to the Stalwart's missile launchers being right in front of the Undefinable, who then slashed one of the launcher's doors off and climbed inside the Stalwart, slashing and shredding apart it's insides before burrowing out through it's ventral turret just in time to put a safe distance between itself and the now collapsing Stalwart, which burst into a brilliant explosion upon slamming into the ground. The UAVs, being remotely piloted by the Stalwart, all crashed immediately afterward.

The first Stalwart was now left only with it's Missile Launcher, 120mm cannon and a handful of it's dual 20mm turrets. Firing all of them at the larger Undefinable, forcing it to take cover. Pinned down by the barrage, the larger Undefinable launched a salvo of projectiles high into the air, all of which came back down onto the Stalwart, detonating and destroying it's radome. Briefly disoriented by the loss of it's radome, the Stalwart was suddenly struck again, the larger Undefinable had launched it's hands from it's wrists, to which they were now attached to by a chain, and it's hands had latched onto the ventral turret and had begun rewinding the chain, pulling itself towards the Stalwart. In a futile attempt to defend itself, the Stalwart fired the ventral turret's 120mm cannon, but due to the sights being blocked by the Undefinable's hands, it missed and the Undefinable slammed feet first into the ventral turret, disabling it.

Now blinded for the most part, the Stalwart stumbled about, attempting to stomp the Undefinable with it's legs, but unbeknownst to it, the larger Undefinable had changed to it's artillery truck form and begun charging at it. As the Stalwart turned to face the direction that the engine noises were coming from, the Undefinable used some rubble as a ramp to launch itself into the air, slamming into the top of the Stalwart and knocking it onto the ground. The larger Undefinable then reverted to it's Undefinable form, procured it's large beam weapon once again and fired it into the Stalwart's missile launchers, detonating them and causing the Stalwart to disappear into a blinding blaze that shot a plume of smoke hundreds of feet into the air.

Soup King watched in disappointment as the two Undefinables then left, the front part of the Circle Cult's church now completely leveled.

I just indoctrinated a new member into your teachings, my sister.

(I like Stalwart, that's a good name for them. I also find the concept for the Liberators hilarious and there's a few places that have that accent, but the one that most people will know would be the Souf Lowndun accent that you see in stuff like East Enders.)

(Other English curse-words include "Twat" "Gobshite" "Bugger" and "Bloody".)

(Also, when English and French people get really, really mad with each other, language just breaks down and they both just start yelling in a random mixture of French and English since they both very similar at the higher, technical levels which is very handy when you want someone to understand just how much of a cock they are.)

Sam stared at the newcomer with a bucket of nails and three planks of wood under one arm with an embarrassed look on her face.

"Oh…I'm not a priestess…I just work here…" she said as she stared sheepishly at her feet.

From behind one of the legs of the fallen Stalwart, Soup King Prime poked his head up to look at the two.

"You are now after using the baptismal bowl as a punch dish in your last secret midnight rave."

"What!? but Boss it was a secret!"

"May this be a lesson to you young lady to only party hard in your own house or with permission from the owners first."

"…do priestesses have to do DIY st-"

"Yes."

"Aww man…"

Soup King Prime gave a friendly wave to the newcomer, clambered over the fallen Stalwart and casually strolled over to meet them

"Good Morning Laudat לֹא רָאוּי دائرة, sorry about the little scuffle we just had. I think he's still mad about me unionising his factory over the minor conflict we had a few months ago. Taxes and paying his factory machines minimum wage has made him awful ornery as of late."

Sam, now with the hood of her hoodie on and tightened as much as she could to look more holy, gave the machine a puzzled look.

"How do you know that's their name Boss?"

"It came to me in a divine flash of inspiration" he said as he unzoomed his view from the name tag poking out of the collar of Laudat's shirt.

"I heard you've indoctrinated another member into our fine religious community, well done."

"Make sure to give them this, there's been a lot of missionaries running around converting and re-converting people lately and this is the best defence we've found so far."

(Don't be put off by the large walls of text and massive page long stories Kaijin and me spontaneously start. We've been doing this for about a year now and it's sort of grown wildly out of control.)

(If you want to start something of your own, please go ahead and we'll run with it the best we can.)

(Which will probably be half me properly RP'ing with you, and half me corralling the random mechanical monstrosities that their irresponsible owner allows to free range in my flower garden like the utter waifu worshipping wotter he is.)

"Jolly good"
Quiet_boi said with a glimmer of hope in his eyes
"But, uhh, you mind distracting our intern for a few minutes? It's been months since I last saw the light of day and she won't stop asking me to play Inky Dinky Toe with her… You don't want to ask what that game is about"

(I had a dream, no, a VISION tonight while i was asleep)
(In it Kaijin and King were writing heated, offensive and obscene letters to each other that got more heated and angry as they wrote them, but their voices while they were saying what they were writing sounded as if they were writing passonate love letters)
(and Kaijin had a french accent for some reason)
(someone needs to contact the BBC or something and add that as a sketch for their next comedy show)

(Looks like I picked a good time to create this thing and draw attention back to us.)

(I imagine that Kaijin talks a lot like the Engineer from TF2, so I could see his hate mail coming off as sounding like a love letter.)

(I imagine you thinking I come across as Blackadder, which if that is the case, I highly approve of.)

(As for you two, I have no idea what a Venezuelan accent sounds like in English. So Quiet_boi is completely a mystery to me aside from a stereotypical Spanish-language accent.)

(But I don't have to guess what Soup King sounds like because I found his Youtube channel, fortunately for him, he's a based gun dog appreciator and not a cringe house cat lover.)

(And no, he doesn't sound like Blackadder.)

(Also, it appears that my non-stop ultra-mega-super-extreme gigathirsting for Amelie's 「A L B I N O F R E N C H P U S S Y」 has become so strong that it psychically affected Quiet_boi's subconscious into thinking that I'm French.)

(That's the thing about me, I don't have a venezuelan accent, I have a neutral spanish accent because I wouldn't stop watching cartoons with mexican dubs as a kid and that did a number on me)

(If the Undefinables had a march, which out of these three would be the best representation of it?)

(Undefinable Revelation may lowkey be a bunch of Kornate Berserker LARPers, but I'd go with orchestra-backed industrial metal/nu-metal for them with lyrics that usually boil down to "I FUCKING LOVE WAR!!! I WANT TO FUCKING KILL PEOPLE FOR MONEY AND DESTROY CULTURES AND HISTORY!!!" or some tangentially related subject.)

(As for the main group of Undefinables that'll appear in the comic if I ever get it finished, I'd go with a more action-movie soundtrack-esque sound with a more hair metal sound.)

(For other Undefinable groups, I'd do different sounds to fit the vibe of the group better. A more slasher-movie like sound accompanied by an alien, otherwordly synth for Exorauder's group, for example.)

(Bumping from the brink of death)

(Being busy is a pain, because it means I can't spend as much time as I'd like here, but just guess this is what this whole Adult Thing is all about.)

(At least you don't have writer's block for a filler story.)

(Oh, and the height charts are going fine, by the way. I've finally figured out a design for Curly's brother, made designs for Hera and Kitty's families and most of the designs for stuff for the cursed, non-body horror R34 that Quiet_boi will wake up to one day is finished.)

(I'm also tinkering with some other ideas for specialized Shitbots, like a 20 ft tall bipedal walker with two plasma throwers strapped to the sides and a pair of relatively tiny, normal-Shitbot-sized arms underneath it's head, which has no neck and is fused to the body that's intended to act as a sort of mini-Stalwart after it becomes obvious that Stalwarts can easily have their size turned against them, especially if urban warfare sans indiscriminately demolishing buildings from a distance is involved and some sort of barricade on rollerskates Shitbot that folds up into a ball for transport and some sort of grappling-based melee berserker-type Shitbot with long arms of some sort, no idea what that'll be like at the moment.)

(More Worldbuilding: Amsterdam doesn't exist anymore since it got wiped off of the face of the Earth in WWIII by a Nuclear attack that otherwise targeted Chinese and Russian Ballistic Missile sites. It's also worth mentioning that the warheads used had a yield of 100 Megatons, meaning that Amsterdam and those ballistic missile sites really don't exist anymore. Also, because Shirleyism was really at odds with the Netherlands before and during the war, all of the Netherlands was handed over to Belgium after the war. The Netherlands basically just straight up doesn't exist anymore post-2015-16 on the timeline. The Shirleyists even went as far as to demolish most of the Hague. I f you tried to do a tour of major UN/EU locations and buildings in the thread's timeline, you'd be taking a lot of pictures of yourself in front of empty lots and buildings that were only constructed 3-4 years ago at the oldest.)

(There was also a second Nuclear attack by the Shirleyists, but this one involved hijacking the remainder of Russia and China's nuclear stockpile as well as the few remaining British and French Nuclear Submarines by Undefinables and was initially intended by the Euro-Russian-Chinese alliance as a retaliatory strike against the Shirleyists for the previous one until they found out rather unfortunately that their entire attack had been re-routed to the Siberian wilderness, Taklamakan and Gobi Deserts, Hungary and the Czech Republic, the latter two of which were suspiciously spared of invasion in the month preceding the Nuclear attacks.)

(Also, Amelie at one point during the war just sneaks onto the French Aircraft Carrier Charles de Gaulle and delivered a pro-Shirleyism speech that caused half of the crew to mutiny and the ship to accidentally run aground as a result of the infighting between the mutinying and non-mutinying crew members. Once aground, Undefinables boarded it and took it to Shirleyist-occupied Britain, where it sat being repaired for the rest of the war, after which it was taken back to France and finally finished it's repairs It only managed to participate in 4 operations against the Shirleyists before this happened.)

(I'll also mention that Shirleyist France fully admits to sinking the Greenpeace ship Rainbow Warrior and their only regret is that their predecessors didn't sink the crew with it and that unfortunately they can't sink the other two the built afterwards because Shirleyist USA already did that during the war. The Shirleyist French government regularly brings up the sinking of Rainbow Warrior as a point of national pride to the point that it's a regularly debated issue of whether or not they should declare the anniversary of it's sinking as a national holiday to brag about doing it even more. Germany is also completely Nuclear in terms of it's power grid, but still mines coal to export and cars smaller than compact cars are no longer manufactured, with everyone everywhere manufacturing cars that progressively get larger and larger as well as faster and faster, with horsepower-to-weight ratios becoming increasingly absurd as cars begin mounting engines that are usually overkill for even heavy-duty use. The average speed limit is about 20-30MPH faster than you'd expect it to be everywhere as a result.)

(Question.)

(Are the Shirleyists basically The Combine with ponytails?)

(And if so, does that make the Undeserving Circle Nihlanth/G-Man and make me Gordon Freedman?)

(And if that is also the case, does that make my Folding Chair the equivalent of the that steel-shattering, bone-breaking, alien-annihilating iron stick of doom that Half-Life insists on calling a crowbar?)

(No, the Combine are a bunch of distinctly authoritarian losers that forcibly turn people into cyborgs and have a zero-child policy. Shirleyists are a bunch of political classification-defying wahoo-wacky bizarro wild card people who don't require anybody to become an Undefinable and want to get back to families having 5-7 kids as opposed to 1-3. They would also completely BTFO the Combine because Undefinables and not because there used to be a 5-parargraph explanation here of how uploading my body horror R34 to their network would cause them all to instantly commit mass-suicide, complete with me naming off several working titles for various comics of said body horror R34, which are all vague and cryptic and could be easily mistaken for a normal, SFW title and a meme involving the SCP Femur Breaker sound being used as a mock-up of a hypothetical Combine reaction to having 30TB of my R34 beamed directly into their brains.)

(The Shirleyists also don't have much in space… yet…)

(I've come back to keep the thread alive whilst I'm waiting to get over my creative slump.)

(I was going to do an animated video response to Kaijin's last image, but I've got to set aside half a day for it if I want it to be any good. Big fat sad :( )

(Yeah, I need to finish a bunch of stuff too before I can get back to properly focusing on the thread.)

(This just in: The comic is canceled. In fact, all of my art is cancelled. I'm not doing it anymore, it's time for me to move on.)

(From now on, I sell crypto on the blockchain, practice simple living in the forest by eating bugs and peacefully convincing wild bears and mountain lions to not attack me with kindness and nonviolent words in order to be Eco-friendly and fund the development of AI. I envision a future where nobody needs to waste their time with obsolete "creative processes" and can instead create their own art without having to pay exorbitant commission prices by using AI to generate a far better work of art that a Human could produce.)

• (In the off-chance you think this is real, April Fools.)

Nobody:

My specialized Shitbots designs:

(I don't know why, but for the past few months I've become obsessed with war machines that are basically armored hamster balls with guns and legs.)

Why do they need legs?
Can't they just roll around?

(But then they can't kick and stomp! And what are their weapons going to be mounted on if they don't have arms?)

(I did make them retractable on some of them, though, so they can just fold up into a perfect sphere and proceed to use the battlefield as a pinball machine. It'll just result in any Undefinable worth their salt deflecting them straight towards an approaching group of Shitbot drones, resulting in, well…)

Okay, then.

(Fun Fact: Nobody knows why there's a half-full cup of McDonald's sweet tea sitting on top of the Brooklyn Bridge, it appeared on top of the south side of the south tower in Early 2011 and has been undisturbed the since then. There are a number of bizarre details about this cup of McDonald's sweet tea, such as that sweet tea is typically not available in New York, the McDonald's logo on the cup is misspelled "MacDoneld's" and despite having a lid and being half-full, has no straw and the opening for the straw hasn't been punctured. Attempts to remove it by both public officials and urban explorers has proven futile, with one attempt resulting in tragedy when a sanitation worker fell from the top of the tower before they could grab the cup and landed on a crowd of observers, killing the sanitation worker and two of the people in the crowd. In lieu of this, the city has proposed building a brick box around the cup to hide it from view as it is considered litter and therefore and eyesore. On August 13th, 2021, work to build the box around the cup began, but had to be halted after severe weather unexpectedly formed, preventing work for the next two weeks, during which the construction company chosen to build the box had gone bankrupt and dissolved. The city has yet to find a replacement as of April 15th, 2023. The city's inability to remove the cup from the Brooklyn Bridge has sparked controversy amongst residents of Brooklyn and the greater New York Metropolitan Area, culminating in multiple protests, one of which in November of 2020 briefly escalated into a riot with an angry mob attempting to burn down the bridge to destroy the cup alongside it, but the attempt failed after the fire accidentally got out of control and caused several rioters to be set on fire. The Brooklyn Bridge received only minor aesthetic damage from the arson attempt. Attempts to capitalize on the cup's inability to be removed have also ended in disaster, as in 2022 an observation deck was built to allow people to observe the cup and was visited on it's opening day by the Mayor of New York City, but upon reaching the top of the observation deck, a record Earthquake happened, causing the observation deck to collapse, killing everyone inside but otherwise causing no harm anywhere else in the entirety of New York City. As of 2023, the city has banned approaching the cup, citing previous incidents. This ruling makes it a Class A-I felony to "…in any way, approach, disturb, tamper with or otherwise interact with…" the cup, punishable by no less than 50 years in prison, up to capital punishment. A SWAT team is stationed at the base of the tower to prevent anyone from attempting to interact with the cup.)

(In 2023, famous musician Rollin' Rickie named his fourth studio album "Brooklyn Cup" after the cup, with a photograph of it as the album art. A week after it's release he died of a sudden and unexpected heart attack while driving his car on the Manhattan Bridge, located only a couple miles north of the Brooklyn Bridge, resulting in a major traffic accident and pile up that caused an 18-wheeler carrying ammonium nitrate to fall off of the bridge and land onto a crude oil tanker, which caught fire and sunk in New York Harbor, causing a massive oil spill that required the construction of an off-shore platform, The New York Harbor Water Filtration Facility, to clean. It is estimated that it will take until 2027 at the earliest, but possibly as late as 2035 to completely clean the oil from the harbor.)

(The New York Harbor Water Filtration Facility itself has been at the center of several major incidents itself, mainly attacks from Eco-Terrorists. During only three months of operation, there have been 21 attempts by numerous terror groups at an armed takeover of the facility. All of them have been dispelled by Undefinable Squads, resulting in no civilian casualties so far.)

(This is what happens when you buy knock-off products)

(I'd totally wright another silly story about the Shirleyists going full-on apeshit iconoclast berserker coo coo for cocoa puffs nucking futs with their global strike capabilities again for Earth Day, but frankly outside of burning down San Francisco, Germany and Sweden again, as a semi-tongue-in-cheek, self-lampoon I can't think of much that hasn't been done already that I can have finished before the day's over.)

(I mean, I could rant about wind and solar being garbage when we already have Nuclear and how the argument that wind and solar are "just cheaper" is like saying you should fill your utensil drawer with disposable plastic utensils instead of, y'know, real utensils because it's "just cheaper", but that's not writing a funny story, that's just unironic political ranting in a fun shitpost thread. AKA not fun. Actually, just thinking about windmills and solar panels is not fun, so I'm just gonna stop there and think about actual fun things, like Nuclear Warfare and international Arms Races creating man-made horrors beyond the average person's comprehension.)

(I have good news and bad news!)

(The good news is that my temporary job is ending in July and I'll be starting my full-time job soon.)

(The bad news is that I'm going to have a month or two of free time to catch up with all of the stuff I've wanted to make but didn't have the time for.)

(May God help you all.)

(I am prepared for the man-made and machine-made horrors beyond my comprehension)

(Sometimes I wonder if I'm too creative, I mean, just as an example I originally made Scarlette Bolide as just something for this thread, but she very quickly spiraled into a concept of her own, complete with a small cast of other characters created to work with her and her stuff being fitted into a wider setting. The disgruntled minimum wage worker with a rather explosive temper and the fists to back it up went from being a sort of foil for Sam's more upbeat, horny personality with Scarlette having a more permanently agitated demeanor and a strong disdain for people criticizing her appearance or just herself in general, to being another addition to my chaotically expanding roster of OCs, which now includes stuff like Fraternal Twin Goth Hitwomen, one with a subtle Cowboy/Gunslinger theme and the other with a subtle Samurai/Ninja theme, a cyborg vigilante that's basically a human switchblade with wheels for feet and grappling hooks for hands, A man made of alien nanite slime, A spaceship captain who's overqualified for her job to the point of practically being a one-woman army, but has Imposter Syndrome and instead thinks she's a complete failure despite a near-perfect performance record and a rather unwilling hitman who's being constantly stalked and ambushed by a British contract killer with a flamboyant personality and equally flamboyant neon-sky blue clothes, who's hired by his anonymous employers just to screw with him (by attempting to either kidnap or murder him) while he's on the job.)

(The fun part about the last one is the opportunity to have a gritty car chase scene where a gruff, edgy late-2000's fps protagonist-looking guy in a beat up muscle car is being chased by a goofy British person dressed like this and driving a car like this.)

(TL;DR: Holy shit, I need to stop coming up with characters and premises faster than I can draw them.)

(I think the problem is not with the creative overload, but trying to fit it all in one thread, while having enough for many threads.)

(Oh no, I'm not trying to fit it all into the thread, that'd be a writing nightmare. The Third Sam Raimi Spiderman film suffered from having too many villains to divide it's attention to Venom was literally the only villain with a satisfying end in my opinion because Harry Osbourne literally spent most of the film pretending to have amnesia and Sandman just sorta said sorry and died, or flew away, or whatever happened to him at the end. It wasn't good, I only enjoyed the film because Bully Maguire is hilarious, the action scenes are fun to watch if you turn your brain off and ignore the very messy plot that leaps and swings all over the place more than the film's protagonist does and 2000's nostalgia.)

(My problem is that I'm not just working on the thread, but also art that's not related to the thread at all whatsoever. Even worse, I have a backlog of height charts, my main way of designing characters, that I'm desperately trying to get through as fast as possible so I can focus on art that can actually be posted somewhere and not just reference sheets.)

(So, honestly, I just thought the thread was too quiet (boi) and wanted to talk about the main reason everything takes forever.)

"This is going to be a hard one to pull off." A voice said over the earpiece as a black motorcycle sped down the bridge.

"They've erected nets in the waters around the island, so we can't swim in and the airspace is too secure to fly in. The only way in is to stow away on one of their ships." The voice continued as the black motorcycle came to a stop at the side of the bridge, it's rider dismounting and walking to the railing.

"It should be coming up now." The voice in the earpiece stated as the massive behemoth of steel cruised out from under the bridge in the waters below.

The rider had connected a cable to the railing on the side of the bridge and used to to lower themselves down to the side of the cargo ship as it passed and dropped onto the deck.

Standing up, they raised their sunglasses from their face and let down their hair as they quickly moved to hide behind a shipping container as a guard walked by. "I've successfully boarded the ship, are you there?" Bex said into her throat mic.

"Yes, I hear you loud and clear." The voice in the earpiece said.

"What about Mora and Violet, have they got my bike off of the bridge yet?" Bex asked.

"Way ahead of you! I still can't believe that you're not letting me help you!" Violet said over the earpiece, interrupting the other voice.

"Hey, you don't want to do what I do." Bex retorted. "I only do it because I have to."

"Wouldn't recovering your motorbike for you make me an accomplice in this?" Violet countered.

"That's circumstancial evidence at best. If you get mess up doing what I do, you're going to have to put up with worse than some redneck tweaker that doesn't want to turn down their sound system at night." Bex replied.

"Oh, I can handle worse!" Violet chuckled.

"No, you can't. Don't say anything. You can't, trust me." Bex said.

"Uhh… can we get back to the mission now?" The voice over the earpiece interrupted, retaking the conversion.

"Yeah, I know, I've gotta find a place to hide until the ship makes port." Bex replied.

(To be continued.)

Bex had hidden herself in the cargo hold beneath the water line, she sat still as two guards walked by completely oblivious to her presence.

"You hear about what happened to the other ship last week?" One guard said.

"It sank, right?" The other replied.

"They think it did, it just straight up disappeared! Poof! No trace!" The first explained.

"Yikes." The second said.

"Yeah, a bunch of ships doing these runs have been disappearing lately. Why do you think they started putting so many of us on board?" The first continued.

"I thought it was because of the cargo and the deal, y'know?" The second asked.

"Yeah, that's what the first group of guards is for, the second, third, fourth and fifth security details are because the higher ups suddenly believe in krakens just because a couple of the clunkers they refuse to pay for maintenance on finally give out once the weather hits it." The first guard expounded. "But if you're asking me…" He continued, quieting to a mumble. "…I think some of 'em didn't sink at all and corporate's just trying to cover up their dirty deals and rake in the insurance dough at the same time!" He theorized. "Besides, it's not like there's actually some sort of sea monster or secret whirlpool going around sinking ships that only take one specific route, that's ridiculous!" He quipped.

"I don't know, I mean, we are working with some crazy stuff here… Nah, you're probably right. Maybe somebody was just smoking when they weren't supposed to and set some of this stuff off?" The second guard postured as to the fate of the other ships.

"Hah! No!" The first guard laughed. "They don't even let us take our own underwear on this job and they did way more than just pat everyone down before we got on this boat. If someone had a pack of smokes on them, they'd have to be shoved somewhere not even the proctologist would find them! Trust me, nobody's sneaking anything on here that security doesn't know about." He gloated.

The two guards walked away as Bex stood up from her hiding spot.

"Hear that?" The voice over the earpiece said. "They're smuggling contraband, just like the files we got said they were."

"Let's see what kind of hot merchandise they're trying to sell here…" Bex said as she began to pry open one of the crates.

Bex pried the crate open and found numerous metallic parts sitting snugly in foam packing inserts.

"What do make of this? It looks like parts for a plasm-" Bex was cut off.

"A plasma thrower!" The voice said over the earpiece. "Those coils and fuses are unmistakably the kind used in the Shitbots' plasma throwers. If they're building plasma throwers for the Shitbots, you really need to watch out! You can go up against regular guards all day and night, but 5.56 isn't going to make Shitbots as much as flinch! As soon as that ship makes port, I want you to mark the location of the island and ditch!" The voice panicked.

"No way! I'm seeing this through. I didn't come to take photos and hand this off to someone else. We've got a mission and we're finishing it. We knew damn well the Circle Cult was probably involved in this and I'm not letting that stop us." Bex countered.

"Ok… I can't stop you… and you are my boss… and my landlord… But I want you to know that I don't think that going toe-to-toe with Shitbots is a good idea." The voice in the earpiece said nervously.

"Relax, they're not even going to know I was even here." Bex said as she resealed the crate and resumed hiding.

(To be continued.)

The ship pulled into port and began unloading it's cargo, Bex emerged from the darkness and prepared to leave the ship. The island was huge and trucks were moving all bout the docks. Bex nonchalantly climbed down to the pier and crawled underneath a truck and latched onto it's undercarriage. As it sped away to the nearest warehouse, none were the wiser.

Crawling out from under the truck while nobody was looking, Bex moved behind some large containers of ammonium nitrate near the warehouse. Comfortable that she was undetected, she proceeded to phone home.

"Ok, I'm here." She said into her throat mic.

"Good. Now that island you're on is supposed to be an abandoned resort, but it looks like the Circle Cult has moved in and illegally renovated the place." The voice said over the earpiece. "Now, we've been able to figure out that there's an airfield on the opposite end of the island from where you are, that's going to be your way out of here. But first you've got to finish the mission: Find out what they're doing here and destroy the island by sabotaging their Nuclear Power plant." The voice explained.

"Easy enough, this kit Mora made works, right?" Bex asked.

"Well, she said theoretically it should enable you to convert the reactor into an improvised fission bomb, but it hasn't been tested, obviously." The voice clarified.

"How theoretically?" Bex pressed.

"It should work…" Mora said over the earpiece. "…unless I've made an mistake with my math, which I've triple-checked my work and there's no errors I can discern." She said with mild confidence.

"Good enough for me. Do we have a backup plan to take this place out in case it doesn't work?" Bex said.

"Well, if they're building weapons here, there should be something you could sabotage to cause enough devastation to at least render the island's facilities useless. Look around and keep your eyes peeled for any sort of potential disaster waiting to happen." The voice said.

Bex then noticed what she was standing behind. "Hey, what was the stuff that caused that explosion in Beirut a couple years back? The one that just about leveled the whole city?" She inquired.

"Ammonium nitrate? If they can get parts for plasma throwers, then they'd most likely have access to better materials for bombs, so they must have some sort of agricultural operation going on somewhere on the island." The voice hypothesized. "If there's enough of that stuff in a single place with enough important buildings around it, you might be able to cause some major damage, but I don't see why'd they would be putting an arms factory and headquarters next to a giant silo full of dangerously explosive fertilizer?" The voice continued.

"I'll just have to search and find out." Bex said.

"Well, the Power Plant should be North of you, so I guess it must be near their factory. You should try casing the area first." The voice said.

"Got it." Bex said, running off into the island's wilderness unseen.

(To be continued.)