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Questioning my gender identity

Last posted Jan 12, 2024 at 05:09AM EST. Added Dec 19, 2023 at 03:52PM EST
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I know like 99% of this site are straight, non-trans men but lately i'm questioning who am lately. I finally came out the other end a cringe straight woman but i have doubts if i'm really am a woman. For one, I don't realy type like a girl. I hang around male spaces because engaging with other women is a nightmare ending in heartbreak. I'm hairier than average and tbh, I feel like a gay man in a woman's body. My taste in men semi-overlaps with gay/bi guys, so much so I don't really like the weird twinky bois other women go apeshit over. Legit thought i was lesbian because of it. turns out no, I just like my guys to look more male and have some …beef to them.

No one way to be a woman, ofc, but each and everyday I ponder if being a bi dude's a better deal than being a cringe straight woman. Maybe i'll get all the hullabaloo over this waifu stuff…

I don't think that even qualifies as "gender nonconformity" tbh, you're just a bit different from what you see as the archetype of femininity.

My taste in men semi-overlaps with gay/bi guys, so much so I don't really like the weird twinky bois other women go apeshit over.

Funny enough, I'm a bi guy, but I'm primarily interested in that type of "weird twinky boi". I'm not sure if it's even that uncommon online.

Spaghetto wrote:

I don't think that even qualifies as "gender nonconformity" tbh, you're just a bit different from what you see as the archetype of femininity.

My taste in men semi-overlaps with gay/bi guys, so much so I don't really like the weird twinky bois other women go apeshit over.

Funny enough, I'm a bi guy, but I'm primarily interested in that type of "weird twinky boi". I'm not sure if it's even that uncommon online.

some bi dudes like twinks, others don't. but i think most like masc women and fem dudes, idk if it's because they're brains are wired weird thanks to poly attraction but idk lol. Was bi once until i realize most girls i like are very male passing. Not to say i couldn't be bi because of it, but if i were to distill this into a metaphor: I only like apples--their looks, sheen, texture, and taste. When a see apple presenting fruits, can't help but be drawn till i take a bite. Turned out to be a crabapple and spat it out.

Feminine men are lovely don't get me wrong, i love long hair and pretty faces on my guys. But once he looks too much like a woman, all attractions cease. Gone, reduced to atoms. Frustrating, cuz my type is rarely presented in art. Please lord, gimme some sexy long haired men with natty builds. plz.

that aside, idk, i like girly stuff, grew up with dress up games, and obviously had the brain for liking mlp (till i outgrew it). He/him pronouns stick to me like butter. Never stuck for me. But here's the weird part…

I've grown to like ftm tg shit…with the caveat of starting out a plain jane with no booba to becoming a…rather "developed" (read: big ass rooster, double cheeked up, and big man tiddies) hunk of a man. Almost all my Fetishes follow this paradigm so it's easy assume tt's a yearning to be something more. Idk, HRT and SRS scare the shit of out me, so um

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Last edited Dec 19, 2023 at 06:14PM EST

I have no real experience with stuff like this, but I consider myself a cisgender male despite loving femboys. It's okay to have specific tastes that go against the norms of masculinity or femininity while staying clear about the gender identity that you believe .

Spend a couple weeks using they/them, see how that suits you. Nobody's gonna know the inside of your head better than you. Transitioning's a hard thing, not the least for all the shit you get because of it. Just do whatever/whoever you want to do, and don't worry about whether the action is masculine or feminine in nature. Don't worry about the best pronouns, just be the best you you can be.

As Matthew said, trying out they/them pronouns for a while might be a worthwhile experiment. Nothing wrong with being nonbinary if you don't feel like either male or female is working for you. But it's also worth pointing out that you don't need to be stereotypically girly to be a woman. I'd say I'm somewhat androgynous in personality more so than stereotypically girly, but I found great comfort in transitioning as I really do love the way I look and feel as a woman, and I do feel I am more feminine than masculine in the way I think and feel. It's also important to note that not everyone's transition goes smoothly; transitioning is deeply personal and we often don't exactly conform to our expectations. I sometimes don't feel like a woman and that's okay, because other women also feel this way from time to time. I asked my sister, mom, and cousin and they all said they also sometimes don't feel like women either, so I know I'm not alone in this, and know that you aren't either.

As for the hair thing, laser hair removal is an option that I've seen be quite effective.

Last edited Jan 13, 2024 at 03:16AM EST
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