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"Oh damn it Fortune is this another one of your 'oh boo hoo woe is me' pity parties about you being trans?"

Yes it is, but damn it dude I just want to vent. [insert 2020 amogus meme]

I mean I guess I dunno what else to say after making that title. Like I really try to follow the advice of some singers I love, like 6arelyhuman telling me to "fuck the haters, life your best fucking life!" but damn it whenever I see comments from people who just irrationally hate people like myself I still just get heart broken. I just don't get why some people would hate me for things beyond my control, and why they would prefer I just fucking die rather than helping me live a happy life. Like if you really think people like me are "mentally ill" why is it your first instinct is "how about you slit your goddamn throat you faggot" rather than "how about I help you overcome your mental struggles by helping you find medical care?" Probably because the answer to that second one is "if you're feeling gender dysphoric, the best treatment is indeed transitioning through HRT and other procedures" and these "haters" have ingrained this belief that people like me don't deserve any form of help whatsoever and instead want us to become extinct.

What's worse is I often feel afraid to confront people like this because I'm afraid confronting bigoted people might result in my own life being in danger from unhinged stalkers.

You'd think after 34 years of being on this planet I would have learned how to, as some of these "haters" love to say, "COPE," but fuck me it's hard…

I can understand why it'd hard to ignore those kinds of people, but it's ultimately something you've got to learn how to do. The people who talk to you and about you like that are monsters who don't see or care for you as a person. And, let's face it, if those kinds of people had it their way, they would've long since made you "disappear", if you know what I mean.

It's good to talk about these things to let them out of your system; the fact you chose to come here and write about it shows how brave you are to actually tackle the issue you're dealing with. But I believe ignoring those people and living your life as best as you can is the best form of revenge against those who think that way about you.

After all, the only other alternative you've got, is allowing those people to perpetually haunt you, letting their words bother and affect you to the point where you're feeling miserable every waking moment of your life. And you've got to understand that those monsters end up winning if you let that happen.

Yeah, there's some real assholes on the web.
Always has been, always will be.
Engaging with folks like that online are pointless, you can call them out on it but under the face of anonimity people will keep saying harsh shit.

All the advice I can offer is. block and report.
They can't hurt people physically so their only tool is crapping out that nonsense.
Take that away and they're powerless. Ridicule them, imagine them as the loser in their underwear that they are. Not even worthy of a second of your time.
Instead, focus on the the things that make you happy and the friends you have.

And hey, remember you're not alone here. If stuff becomes too much you can always count on someone amongus :P

Hey sorry you got a lot to deal with on this stuff. I deal with certain people… Namely my parents, who don't exactly respect those with an LGBTQ+ lifestyle. They don't wish death on any like with what you deal with thankfully, but they are still pretty rude on the topic and aren't the kindest to talk on it. I guess they aren't openly bad, like they will be nice to others and not say any terrible things, but… It's just a lot to deal with.

Sigh, I'm not gay or trans or whatever, but this isn't about me, it's supposed to be about you. So what I'm trying to say is I understand how difficult some people on the other side can be, they are very, very, VERY, annoying to deal with and won't listen to reason. It sucks dealing with those that are so hateful and ignorant that it only leaves you frustrated when you talk to them and makes you feel dumb for even just having a different opinion. But you aren't wrong for being who you are! Look some peeps are jerks and deserve to be told off where they will realize they were wrong in the future. Just keep living how you want to live and hope others understand, if not then that's their own problem!

Well I wish you luck. See ya.

Hey so I've got some good news. I finally came out to my mother and she took the news way better than I expected. I was even very upfront about how the reason why I never told her until today is because I was always very afraid she might hate me or be embarrassed to be related to me. She assured me she could never hate me and will always love me. Now she did say two things that felt a bit expected from her. FIrst she did ask question "how do you know you're a woman and not a man? I never saw that behavior from you" and politely explained how I always hid my true feelings from her so that's why she never caught on, and how I've been dealing with dysphoria for many years, but also not wanting to overcomplicate matters so I did kinda end it with "it's a bit hard for me to go into greater detail, but I know how I feel deep down." The second thing she did say that I kinda expected but was still a bit disappointed to see from her is she did comment "you have to understand I view this lifestyle is a sin," but I did very calmly reassure her I do feel it is indeed God who is leading me to understand my true self and it's through Him I know what I feel deep down is the truth. She replied saying she does like to hear I do still believe God is always with me and that no matter what she will always love me.

This is such a massive relief to me knowing my mother, while we may not be completely eye-to-eye on the matter, doesn't hate me. Good thing that weight is off my shoulders because I'm gonna be dealing with a different weight once I start HRT, hehe.

Great to hear, godspeed!

I'm not really familiar with your pity parties, but I am all too familiar with the amount of vitriol that gets posted online. Social Media THRIVES on hateful shit like that getting posted, and after a while it bummed me out seeing that.

Like SuperJumpMan said, blocking is your best friend. It took me way too long to be comfortable with just blocking people so I don't have to see trash opinions in my feed again. Or at the very least, make it less of a nuisance.

I know it's not easy, but I wish you best of luck for whatever you're going through!

More than just thriving, social media today is PROFITING from hateful and divisive shit.

But that aside, congrats Mistress for these brave new steps you're making towards feeling more happy and comfortable with your identity!

Gratz, I don't know what your living situation is, but presumably this allows you to actually be yourself around your mother, that's a big step.

Ms Fortune wrote:

I often feel afraid to confront people like this because I'm afraid confronting bigoted people might result in my own life being in danger from unhinged stalkers.

Please do not focus on appealing to people who do not care if you live or die, or worse, would hope you die rather than be different than them. Yes, give people the ability to learn and change their minds. But it isn't worth your own sanity to try and write essays to show them your perspective. I've tried on lots of subjects and it isn't worth it.

I'm… currently going through a struggle with a friend who has become so poisoned by this "talk with people who hate you" and getting hateful responses and general hopelessness that they have tried to take their own life. A combination of this, new site UI, and other IRL things means I've not/may not be able to be on as much. I apologize to those that I've been unresponsive to. It is difficult to get invested in meme site drama when you feel you may lose one of the most important people in your life.

Congrats on taking steps to be able to live your life. One's only brief existence is too short to hide oneself entirely in fear to appeal to everyone. I tried that and… there's a reason that time in my life I had to constantly listen to music to get through.

[sigh] Bad news. I'm very disappointed in my mom and step dad.

So recently my mom and step father were in town briefly and I looked after my mom's dog for just one night as the place they were staying at didn't allow dogs. When they came back to get the dog I took a "go big or go home" approach and came out to my step dad while my mom was there, greeting them at the door dressed in very "emo girl" clothing like a stripped crop top, red and black stockings, my heart choker, and a black skirt. My mom knew I was gonna come out to my step dad, but I admit it was my decision to be maybe a little extra so the truth could really, really, sink in.

So here's the basics of what they said:

"We will always love you, but we can't accept or support this lifestyle, it's a sin."
"God made you a boy, He didn't make a mistake."
(never mind I refuted saying I do not in any way agree that "God made a mistake," God is the one who created my brain so if anything you're the one implying God messed up with my brain's wiring, BUT in addition to this I made my stepdad acknowledge humans in general are not perfect beings; also if God never wanted us humans to seek medical improvements for ourselves, human beings would still be dying from disease early in life regularly, and I would have died at the age of six months from pneumonia)

But perhaps what crushed me the most is mom and my step dad said they don't want me to be my true self around family, they want me to keep lying to people and pretend I'm a cisgendered man. Why are you now telling me lying is fine when I used so much God given strength to tell you the truth about myself?! You said you aren't ashamed/embarrassed by me, but it sounds like you want me to lie in order to prevent YOU from being embarrassed around family!

Mom and step dad if I'm a sinner then you are just as bad as me! You both got divorced and remarried! The Bible doesn't say much, if anything, about trans people, but it calls people who get divorced and remarried adulterers! "But I got absolved when your dad died." HOW DOES THAT SUDDENLY MAKE YOU FINE?! AND STEP DAD'S EX WIFE IS STILL ALIVE, WHERE'S HIS ABSOLUTION?! WHY ARE YOU TWO FORGETTING THE LOVE JESUS SHOWED EVERYONE?!

I'm no longer a protestant, I think I'm a Catholic just like my father. He never remarried, he's probably the only member of my family who got to see Heaven. I mean heck, the freaking Pope accepts people like me! Why are you Baptists not showing the love Jesus asked you to show the world?! Why are you telling me lying is fine?!

I'm just so very disappointed…

"We will always love you, but we can't accept or support this lifestyle, it's a sin."

I'd love to see them show where exactly in the bible it's named as a sin.
Unfortunate the situation is working out like this, don't like to see people using their faith as a weak excuse to disapprove of something they don't understand.

Want to know something very, very, interesting? Today during work when I was walking back into the building I found something on the ground. Lying there in the rain, a gothic styled cross with hearts printed up and down it. Two of my favorite symbols, gothic crosses and hearts, combined together in to one, sitting in the rain for me to find.

If this isn't a sign I don't know what is.

People can be distressingly selective with their application of both rules and empathy. They are usually unwilling to recognize the contradictions in their behavior, especially when it is stated to them bluntly. Best I can recommend is to live as a point of contrast by maintaining an internally consistent ethos and steadfastness. The people near you will gradually either learn from watching you, or they'll slowly get so pissed off at your perceived nonconformity that they can no longer stand your presence. Either way, you'll enjoy the luxury of a clean conscience.

For that matter, the best thing you can do to make sure your parents don't give up on you is to never give up on your parents. Relentlessly, if you have to.

I've seen trans people talk about how their relatives were concerned or in disagreement at first, perhaps even showing strong emotions or crying, but eventually get around the initial shock and be supportive. Like Nox said, let's cross fingers and hope that they will gradually learn and get used to it. In the meantime, i think you should be your true self like you said, how much "extra" do you want to be about it is up to you, but i really disagree with their idea of "hiding who you are" like you're now some sort of shameful black sheep of the family, that's bullshit.

Be careful there, you're dangerously close to becoming a MC.