VOL 1 | ISSUE 6
NEWZ 🎱 BRIEF
FOGGIEST BOTTOM, WASHDC —After weeks of harsh criticisms on the removal of historical photographs and painting adorning the hallways of the Foreign Ministry, Foreign Minister H. Hamilton Hunter IV also fondly known as FM Hawwy on Sunday unveiled his redecorated office with a reception for the diplomatic corps and members of the press.
The photographs of white, old men were carted off to the warehouse and replaced with colorful artwork and posters of the Republic of Z’s purple mountain majesty, and cowboys.
The Foreign Minister’s strategic adviser told the press that cowboys are the minister’s favorite people, and it makes perfect sense to redecorate the building with the minister’s favorite scenes and artwork to remind him of home.
“He thinks like a cowboy,” said the minister’s strategic adviser.
“You carry a revolver with only six shots, and you don’t waste your bullets.”
According to the minister’s strategic adviser, the building’s entire top floor has cowboy art to remind Minister Hawwy that he thinks like a cowboy and that he should never waste his bullets. The advisor explained that this is not because bullets cost money, but that even when you can afford them, you may not always have a store open when you need them.
The reception ended with gunfire and fireworks. Meanwhile, guests went home with rugged cowboy cutouts, and blank bullets in their goody bags.
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